she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
not ubering you a puppy
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
