dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
