My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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