Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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