Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
