my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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