ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
