he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
