Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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