We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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