So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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