We're facebook friends in real life
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
