i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
