i don't like sucking hair
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
