well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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