Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
