Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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