Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
