Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Randomize
