what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
