I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
