my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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