Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
