I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
