Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
