It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
