But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
