is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
