They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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