Your mouth is God's brothel.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
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I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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