I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
