some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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