4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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