Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
