His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
