Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
