it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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