I feel great
I just peed on a car
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
