Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
