I wish I could punch you in the face.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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