I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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