Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.