She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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