I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal