yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
