i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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