I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my poor anus
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize