i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
