White coat. Heels.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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