:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
