Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
