He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
