Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
