just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
