The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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