So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
