i just had sex bonerless
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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