I think i peed on brittanys purse
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
