we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
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The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
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I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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