it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize