Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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