PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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