He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
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