I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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