shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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