so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Drake has all the answers
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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